the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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