i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize