part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
