do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
