New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
