Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
