he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
