i think i have herpe
just one?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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