Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
