there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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