i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Apparently you make a good broom.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
