Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
3 2 1 whiskey
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
