Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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