I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize