Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
