I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
