we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
