well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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