ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize