I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's shark week go big or go home
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
