I heard we made out
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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