Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
