Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
