Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
