then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Oh god it's open bar.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize