neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
