Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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