did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
