escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
