So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
