I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
