You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
