Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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