If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
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