I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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