So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
