i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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