i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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