btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
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