@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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