Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
