i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
