youre lurking in front of me
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Green mimosas i think yes
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
