recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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