He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Green mimosas i think yes
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
