he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize