Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize