Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
