do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize