This girl is more easily done than said...
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
