her vagine was all disorganized.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
