We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize