He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize