going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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