I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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