Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
