Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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