just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
