its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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