Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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