for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
