We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Shame - the story of my life.
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