Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
