For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
