I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
